Devil's World Heroes Sessions 4 & 5: Hexploration

The stench of murder hangs in the air wherever The Big Boys show their faces. And although Zaxonians have become accustomed to "the adventurer smell", this one demands to be washed off—washed off with blood, that is. 

Session 4: Of Temples, Winds, and Windbags

Once flirtatious barmaids have turned sour; once cheerful fellows pierce us with accusing gazes from afar. They say nobody has seen The Wolfpack for more than a week, and Kimimi's been seen wearing Chadley's pelt. Right, that will do it. And of course, Kimimi (Havoc) is not here for this session. Oh, look, a letter from Wynsel addressed to Kimimi. Is it about the alleged murders, I wonder?

Beauty In the Belly

At Wynsel's cottage inside the Skull Fort, Gronk Boblin (cellar gelatin) pre-empts the question: "If this is about the Wolfpack, they were killed by machine-gun robots. Except for one, that one's head exploded for some reason. Nothing to do with us." Wynsel doesn't really care, he wants us here to assist him in his wife-quest. The fate of the Wolfpack is unfortunate, he says, but it's all worth it for the sake of love. Uncle Daddy's also there, holding a stack of papers—translations of the documents we'd found in the blue ruins. He explains:

"For a long time it's been a mystery how the Titans of old were built. We know it's Crystalean technology, but how exactly do you build something so large? These documents confirm my hypothesis: the Crystaleans had the technology to grow and shrink objects. The Titans were built at feasible scales, then grown to titanic sizes."

What does this have to do with Wynsel's unfortunate marital status? Answer: Flavia, the love of Wynsel's life, was swallowed whole by her father, King Corpulo, to prevent her eloping with Wynsel. She is prisoner in his belly until the day she is married off to Tyranimo, the dipshit son of Dark Lord Tyrantax. Killing Corpulo is out of the question, for he maintains the border with The Deadlands to the south-east (the ruler of which is the previously mentioned Dark Lord Tyrantax). Therefore, we must recover the Crystalean shrinking technology, so that we may shrink ourselves, infiltrate Corpulo's body, and recover Flavia.

Now, I bet you have several questions as to the physics and logistics of this. The Big Boys did, too. But the questions were brushed off as untimely: for now, our task is to find the Head Alchemist's notes in the blue ruins, for they contain the secrets of shrinking technology. We kinda promised Barral to prevent any further exploration of the blue ruins, but... maybe we'll stumble upon the alchemist's notes while we're down there... preventing. And if we do, Wynsel probably won't mind closing the dungeon back up, his wife-quest complete.

Some other trivia uncovered during the conversation:

• Crystaleans come from the moon
• Uncle Daddy keeps a Raygun in his boot, which is also Crystalean technology. His, however, can be recharged with lunar energy.
• Nanomachine blood (blue goo) that we've seen earlier is also Crystalean, but unrelated to the growing/shrinking tech.

An eye for an eye makes Zaxonians cheer

Outside the Inn, an angry crowd gathers, rallied by a man resembling Chadley, but older and fatter. "They killed the proud sons of Zaxon and stole their pelts!" yells the crowd. "They killed my boy!", yells the old man. That's Luke Argonon, Chadley's father. He continues, lamenting the destruction of his clan, for his daughter Chadette ran away into the forest, and his son Chadley was murdered by foreigners who call themselves The Big Boys. He demands the blood debt be repaid, and challenges us to a duel to the death.

Bahat Ghul (Zygo) concocts a clever lie: "Uhm, actually, Sir Mister Argonon, The Wolfpack fell in battle against the machine-gun robots, and not only that, we fought side by side them, and they, uh, bequeathed the pelts to us with their dying breaths!" Luke Argonon doesn't seem to buy this at all. Worse, Melinda the barmaid steps out of the crowd: "That's not true! I've seen them attack adventurers before! They for sure did it!" We attempt to discredit her by pointing out her blonde wig, but she says she wears it because blondes get better tips. Valid.

Anyway, there's no getting out of this one. Dwelf (ags) steps up to duel Argonon & defend the honor of The Big Boys. The duel takes place the next day, so that Dwelf can recover some HP. It's only fair. Gronk lends him his chainmail, to increase our chances. All of Zaxon gathers to watch. Notably, Stillborn Flesheater is in the crowd. Argonon makes a speech, recalling fond memories of training his son in Bounceball, & how he never went pro and became and adventurer instead. He also says that, in his prime he won 3 campaigns and a Bounceball tournament, & can still kick any youngster's ass.

He does. The duel was conducted using a variant of Cavegirl's dueling procedures. Argonon had a slight advantage, but it could have gone either way if not for a lucky axe hit on his part. Dwelf is dead, but his body is taken by the priests of Odo, who claim that there is still a chance to save him, somehow. Argonon finishes with a speech saying how we killed Chadley because we were jealous of his handsomeness and prowess as an adventurer. You know what, we'll take it. That's better than the real reason for the murder, which was... none. Stillborn, gives us a thumbs down of disappointment: "I guess The 'Big' Boys aren't so big after all."

Dwelf's defeat is taken as proof of our guilt (it's the will of the Goddess, and/or Odo, you know how it goes), and Zaxonians dislike us even more now. On the other hand, Dwelf's death has repaid our blood debt, so we're clear in the eyes of the law. Because that's just the kind of society this is, I guess.

Hexcrawlin' Rocks

The task at hand is to get to the Wind Temple, for only they can aid us against the evil that lurks beneath the blue ruins. It is somewhere in the North-West of the Wylderwoods, and getting there is going to be a bit of a problem. Cutting through the forest and murking Wren on the way sounds tempting, but let's be real, we'd just get ambushed and robbed (or worse). The river flows from north to south, and is infested with something called "Volt Fish". Going east the long way around isn't too enticing. Besides, we don't know if we'll be able to cross the river back. Seems the only sensible option is to go west, where the Thunder Plains bleed into the Wylderwoods. Sometimes the megafauna wanders in from the south, but it tends to be docile. And it's hard to get ambushed on the plains.

WW2: Five standing stones, arranged in a circle. The shapes suggest that they were once carved to depict something, but now completely faded and eroded. It is said that the Lords of Zaxon use this stone circle as a meeting spot to hold important votes. Around here, some ankylosauruses (hammertails) are grazing, soaking up rays, chillin. We are of no interest to them, and they to us.

WW4: Stones again, even larger, stonehenge sized. Arranged in a maze-like mess that blocks all sightlines, can't really see inside. Two stones stand ajar, as if gates welcoming us in. A deep voice echoes out from within, crying bitterly. As we we enter, the crying stops, we hear something shuffle and scurry, then silence again. Marco (Jenx) breaks the silence: "Hello friend, is everything okay?". No answer. In the center there is a particularly large pillar-like stone, ancient texts scrawled all upon it. In front of it is a perfectly circular platform. We should come back here later.

WW9: We can't go north from here. Steep mountains block our path, a sheer wall of dolomite.

WW7: North-east we go, then, into the forest. So much for going around. It gets darker as we move deeper. Human tracks here and there, boot prints in the mud. Night approaches, time to make camp. Watch order is the same as marching order, so Dunnarson (mtb) is in the barrel tonight.

Francisco? More like Francis-go fuck yourself

At night, Dunnarson hears bird calls. Except those are not night birds. In fact, they're not birds at all. Whistles? He's got a feeling that we're being spied on. (Successful thief check, ahoy!) The rest of the party is jostled awake. The "bird calls" stop... As we're ready to settle into sleep again, we hear a spell being cast from the darkness. Five (5) winged, imp-like demonic little shits fly in from the darkness and start wreaking havoc on the campsite. "Nice campfire! Is this a party? Hey, what you got there? Got anything tasty for me? I'm starving hehehe", they raid our rations, throw our stuff into the campfire, & pester us generally. One of them throws some kind of powder into the campfire, causing a blinding flash of bright colours, upon which they laugh and cheer. In addition to being annoying, they seem to hold in contempt the fetters of material existence: shrinking into nothing only to then reappear elsewhere, teleporting, and being immune to physical attacks. That's quite terrifying. They're not immune to magic, though. Only heavily resistant to it. In desperation, we have Krang (Kirkœͣ) cast Sleep. A few of them succumb to it, but most make their saves.

We are "rescued" from this plague by the very summoner of the pests himself. An old man steps out of the tree-line, accompanied by two brigands, and calls the demons back. Francisco is he, says him. Ah, the apostate the priest at the temple was raving about. Producing a bottle of wine, he assures us that although he runs with Wren, he has no particular grievance with us, and merely wants to tell us his story. The two bandits groan, and their tough-guy posture changes to that of exasperated children at the dinner table, when grandpa's winding up for a yarn. The story is long and meandering, often veering off and fixating on irrelevant details. But the point of the story is that he was also a priest of Odo for most of his life, until a (rather sophomoric imo) theological vexation made him run away into the woods to live with a bunch of bandits. That is, if the Goddess created everything, did she not also create Lucifer and the demons, and if so, are they not also a necessary part of the grand plan? Why do we hate and shun them, instead of living with them, as equal parts of all creation? "Look at them"—he says as the imps nuzzle into his hands, hang of his shoulder, and nestle into his lap, giggling (oh, now they're acting all cute)—"they just want to have fun and hang out. Can you not see the dignity of their creation?" He also speaks on the folly of saint worship, that the saints possess no real power, unlike demons, gods and the Goddess. He offers peace, and magical training if we help him.

This all would have (maybe) been compelling, had he not fucked with our rations—a grievous no-no that earns him a spiteful entry in the Big Boys' Official Shit-List. As for his Luciferian apologia, it backfires: in our reckoning, his association with demons rather reflects poorly on the demons than the inverse. Nobody who hangs out with a dickhead like him could possibly be any good; fuck Francisco, fuck demons, and fuck Wren.

"So, are we robbing them or what?" one of the bandits pipes up. "No no, I'm sure they'll come around. Until then, let's keep this meeting a secret from Wren, shall we? Oh, one more thing..."—He produces the Many Boobed Demon Lady Statuette from his robes—"Thanks for leaving it at the flea market. Should come in handy, hah!" With that, Francisco gets up, and he, the bandits, and the imps disappear back into the night forest. What an asshole. Then again, maybe we will come around. Krang wouldn't mind some magical training. And really, the two should get along swimmingly, both being dirty hippes and all.

Dolomite! And Its All-Girl Priesthood of Pteranodon Riders

North is another forest tile, and then another step east brings us to the Temple of The Wind, nestled safely in the embrace of stony mountains. White pillars line the path up towards a cluster of strange geometric shapes carved into the white rocks. Pteranodons swoop in and out of natural cave entrances. Our approach is hailed by two ladies wearing robes of white, and white cloths covering their faces. "My goodness, sister, guests! We haven't had guests in months!" Their faith bids them to invite weary travellers for food and shelter. Typical for monastic orders, the accommodations are ascetic. The food is bland, the shelter is spartan; literally, as in fit for slaves, of whom this place employs an abundance (which is also quite typical).

Gronk Boblin thanks them for their hospitality, and explains that we're not mere travellers, but here on important business: sent by Ser Barral to seek aid from the sages at the Wind Temple, in our mission to defeat the great evil that infests the Blue Ruins. This seems to be a matter worthy of the High Priestesses' attention: we are promised an audience once they finish their rituals. Meanwhile, we can take a look around.

Everything here is either white or painted/dyed red. The guest room has a carpet on the floor; simple, almost crude, wooden furniture. Below us is another chamber, where bald servants in simple, undyed and unbleached clothes tend to the pteranodons. Gronk pesters them to let him see a baby-pteranodon, but they wave him away: the men here are under a vow of silence.

We are caught wandering aimlessly by another priestess, accompanied by a man. These look unusual. The priestess has long, green hair, and her white veil has markings on it. The man is well dressed, muscular, looks like a warrior of some sort. They are walking along a path when we come upon their gaze. The man's face takes on a bewildered expression.

"Well met", greets us she, softly. "I am High Priestess Ethel. You are to have a meeting with us, yes? We were just heading there. Why don't we walk along together?" Up a staircase further along the path, she leads us to a chamber. Two chairs in the middle, left one already occupied by another priestess. That would be Agna. Same white robes, markings on the veil, but red hair, and her tone of voice is much harsher than Ethel's. Ethel also sits down, and the man stands in the middle, behind them. During the ensuing conversation, there's much disagreement and bickering among the two sisters. Here is a quick rundown:

• The threat in the blue ruins that Barral was talking about is Zaqqum, The Devil Tree. It is "apt to spread perpetual sorrow and pain and ought to be resealed."
• Whoever eats of The Devil Tree's fruit, or inhales its spores is turned into a nihilist.
• Agna wants to withhold the supply of Pteranodons to Zaxxon to punish Wynsel for unsealing the blue ruins. Ethel disagrees, as the knights of Zaxon protect the southern border, and that would weaken them greatly. Ethel is also sympathetic to Wynsel's love troubles.
• Both are still pretty mad at Wynsel for being a reckless dumbass. though.

Now, they want the ruins specifically resealed. They don't want any more random dipshits messing with it. But we can't really go against Wynsel, and this is a game about dungeons, so we offer to destroy the evil tree Zaqqum, if they help us. They mull this offer and offer the following:

• A Dragon has been terrorizing the pteranodons. It attacks them with its Sleep Breath as they're mid-flight, and feasts upon their broken corpses after they plummet to the rocks below. A pretty clever tactic, gotta admit.
• Defeating the Dragon would prove that we're not, in fact, random dipshits, and they'd give us a great weapon or a spell that would help us destroy Zaqqum.
• They also mention that the tough dude behind them was originally sent to defeat the dragon, but couldn't do it. Way to embarrass the guy.

Upon our exit, they go back to bickering about what to do about Wynsel and Zaxon. Just goes to show, if you're gonna have more than one high priestess, get an odd number of them, to avoid deadlocks like that. We pester the locals for a lift back to Zaxon, because fuck trudging all the way back. A few priestesses give us a lift to the standing stones (but not all the way to Zaxon; that's foreign airspace, and relations are strained, yadda yadda). Here's some other loose tidbits of Wind Temple lore we caught while there:

• Only the priestesses are allowed to ride the pteranodons, the bald men just train them. Classism!!! 
• The priestesses, once inundated, are confined to live in the skies & must never again touch the ground (which the mountain itself doesn't count as, because it's "so high up").
• There's a little girl glued to Ethel at all times, whom she constantly scolds and reprimands. Maybe they're training a third High Priestess? Would fix their deadlock problem.

Oh, and Gronk gets to see a baby pteranodon at the kennels.

Rombold's Moor

We have some time left in the session; why not have Krang prepare comprehension and go back to the stonehenge thing at WW4?

A deep, voice reverberates through the stone maze, the words whined out between wails and sobs: "You bother Rombold again, why?" Marco assures it that we mean no harm, and just want to check out that there rock with the squigglies on it. His friendliness pays off, and he sorta befriends this very shy, and surprisingly stealthy giant who lives here at the Moor. His ex-wife, Rombilda, left him for the tougher, meaner giants to the south, because Rombold is a softie who won't eat people. He's been crying his eyes out ever since.

With Marco consoling him, Rombold gives his reluctant permission for Krang to examine the main stone, this time with Comprehension. That incurs a magic save. Which he fails. Visions of pale, twisted figures with vertical mouths and other weird anatomical details flood his brain. Body horror, cannibalism, sacrifice in worship of some dark god. There is great darkness lurking beneath Rombold's Moor.

Krang passes out, and upon waking, knows a new spell: Spell of the Subterranean Gullet (Pass-wall). His mind is linked to this place until he solves its mysteries. This also means he has to pass a magic save to prepare new spells, lol.

XP, Treasure

We didn't have any combat, but we did negotiate out of a few encounters, and the Referee deemed that worthy of half the encounter XP. That would be 1200 XP split between 5 characters, plus 200 to each character, for the death of a PC. This is for both Dwelf and Thorgo, whom we forgot to account for last time.

Session 5: Exit, the dragon

A week later, both Havoc and Mr.Mann are present at the table, bringing Kimimi The Witch and Dhunprick Slipper respectively. mtb was out, unfortunately, so Dunnarson's not around this time.

The Slipper is out of the de-titanization boiler. He's red, dry like a sun-baked lizard, and coping with his greaselessness with impromptu theology: "This is a test from God! True grease comes from within!" "Yes it does", says Marco. "From your skin pores".

Dwelf is technically dead and won't be coming back any time soon, which is a shame because he was going for the mystery of St. Kristoff's bones during downtime. That would've been a cool quest. ags rolls a new character: the sorceress Bouncemonia, whose intelligence is as huge as her br...avery. For real, check out them statistics: 13 STR; 19 INT; 9 WIS; 9 DEX; 13 CON; 12 CHA. She knows Fascinating Gaze, Flight (prepared), Astral Projection, and her Maleficence is "Death Kiss".

Rations—check. Climbing gear—check. Getting the Temple of Odo to please return Gronk's chainmail that Dwelf was wearing, shit was expensive thanks—check. What are we forgetting? Ah, Weki-weki leaves. One cuppa tea brewed from this stuff keeps one's eyes open & teeth chattering all through the night. Should come in handy against the Sleep Dragon.

Standoff at the standing stones

We'll just retrace the same path to the Wind Temple as last session, because we're boring like that. But this time, we'll camp out at Rombold's Moor and not in the dark spooky forest full of bandits. On our approach, Rombold, peeking from behind the stones, makes a "Shush" gesture and hides. Huh. Maybe he's being shy again. Good thing Marco bought some roast pork as a gift (50sp!).

But the real reason for Rombold's reticence is revealed to be the arrival of roguish rascals upon his rocky residence. The Liberators, those fuckers, are loitering on the platform around the central stone. Among them are Wren, the archer clad in black; Yohannen, the human-sized axedwarf; Clorinda, the thief; and Francisco, the dickhead. And two nameless brigands. Francisco's here to study the runes on the main stone, and the rest are here to see that he is not interrupted. Like we're doing right now. Dhunprick Slipper and Clorinda both immediately slip behind the rocks. Thieves, amirite?

Marco and Wren exchange pleasant greetings, hands placed upon their weapons. An agreement is reached, that as long as we stay outside the inner stone circle, and they stay inside, there should be no problems. Everybody cool with that? No, not everybody is cool with that. For one, Bouncemonia wants to examine those runes as well. And Bahat Ghul claims that if they're going to have one of ours inside the circle, we should have one of theirs with us. One, for safety, and two to annoy them. "You're like 12 year olds", sighs Wren, "But sure. Clorinda! Get over there!"

Marco's having himself a little facepalm because all he's concerned about is keeping Rombold safe and getting to the Wind Temple in one piece; antagonizing the Liberators achieves neither of those. Plus, we've already read the runestones, this whole bullshit with exchanging hostages is pointless. He whispers to Rombold, who's hiding behind the stones, to just lay low and wait until the situation is settled and the scary intruders leave.

But where's Clorinda? She and Dhunprick are having a little date behind the rocks. Or rather, she's coming onto him aggressively. "Oh, you're good with grease?", she says, taking out an oil flask "Why don't you show me? We could rub grease on each other all night long..." That's scandalous! Had Dhunprick not already been red, he'd be turning red. Rubbing grease is a second date activity. To the Slipper's relief, Clorinda is called off by Wren. To his horror, she'll be camping out with the Big Boys. To his relief again, she's found a new target in Gronk:
—"Tell me about yourself, big boy"—she's getting handsy with Gronk's biceps.
—"I am Gronk Boblin", says Gronk Boblin, "and I come from the woods. And I want to be a hero!"
—"With muscles like that, you're already a hero to me..."

The scene is interrupted (thank god) by Yohannen: "Egads! A man-eating giant! Kill it!". Yohannen's been muttering something about "baby crying noises" all day, and looks like he's found the source. Rombold has completely broken down from fear, belting out "I'm sorry Marco!" between sobs. Marco has to calm everybody down again, assuring that Rombold isn't a man-eater. In fact, that's kind of his whole problem. The situation is diffused. Everyone returns to their respective camps, and Clorinda is back to trying to date Gronk, wine and all.

From Cold Blooded to Liquid Cooled

The next morning, we find The Liberators gone, Bouncemonia tied up to the runestone, and Clorinda abandoned with us. She's like "Those fuckers! Wren's so dashing... but can be such a dick sometimes! Can I go with you?" Mentioning that we're on a dangerous quest to slay a dragon does the opposite of dissuading her. "I'd love to see Gronk slay the dragon with his thick, hard, throbbing muscles." Uh huh. We're pretty sure she's spying on us... but Gronk and Kimimi like her, so fine. She can come with. I'm sure her d4 dagger throws will make all the difference.

We found Clorinda so annoying that we started calling her "Chlamydia" from then on and snickering to each other like mean girls. Seemed funny at the time. We get a little bit of backstory from her: born in a horse stable, had to fend for herself, became an adventurer, and lives the YOLO lifestyle—danger, treasure, carousing. Standard stuff. "If I kick the bucket, whatever. Francisco could probably conjure up my ghost, or something."

The Dark Woods greet us with an ambush once again (of course), but this time it's not bandits. We're attacked from the trees by titanized lizard-men, flesh fused with metal, bleeding blue goo. One of them has a laser-gun growing out of its mouth, which is pretty fucked up. With some difficulty, we defeat them. All the fighters take damage, and it would've been worse had Kimimi not cleverly cast Ravage Panoply on the laser-gun-mouthed lizard, leaving it jawless. Bouncemonia, on the other hand, found her melee "Death Kiss" spell not so useful against enemies jumping around in trees. Clorinda says that they've seen the robo-lizards in the forest before, and even Francisco, nay, Francisco in particular, is freaked out by them.

Arriving at the Wind Temple, we take a much needed rest. Clorinda's back to her antics: disappearing on the trail, then reappearing at night disguised as a priestess, having stolen some snacks from the High Priestesses (which are actually tasty and not bland. double classism!) Marco's patience is growing ever thinner. We take our reputation with the Wind Temple very seriously around here. He warns the priestesses that there's a thief about, worried that if he doesn't, her mischief be blamed on us.

Frog God Caves

Come dawn, the big, muscly guy that hangs out with the High Priestesses escorts us to the entrance of the dragon's lair—a hole over a shelf on a sheer cliff. His name is Stark, and he wears thick metal armor (much thicker than regular plate) and wields a gigantic axe. I don't know why I'm mentioning any of that because he's irrelevant and leaves immediately. Several climb checks later, we're on the shelf before the entrance of the dragon's cave. Clorinda reappears, butt-sliding down the top of a nearby rock and throws a stack of papers at our feet. She'd stolen the Wind Temple's spell library and also scoped out their treasury (they have a treasury?), generously offering to invite us to the future heist. Marco's done with her, openly calling to kill her lest she ruin our mission. The rest of the Big Boys overrule him. Like, c'mon, she's fun. Annoying (infuriating, even), but fun. But we do tell her that the spellbook is to be returned if she wants to come with.

The cave is wet and creepy, as any self-respecting cave ought to be. Bio-luminescent amphibian creatures scatter, the comfortable darkness of their habitat disturbed by unwelcome torchlight. Drip, drip, drip—goes the moisture, balling up and falling from the tips of the (checks Wikipedia) stalactites.

C1: Chamber with a pool of water in the middle; exit north leading to a bridge over a canyon with a rapid stream at the bottom. To the northeast, a sloping passage leads to another chamber. Marco insists that Clorinda scout ahead to prove that she's really here to help rather than harm. And if she gets herself killed being point woman, well... two birds, one stone, in Marco's mind. Bouncemonia concurs: "Bitch has no regard for her own life."

C2: Clorinda points out the stalactites hanging above the bridge, stable but only barely. A well-placed hit could break them loose. There are large chambers to the north and east. Before the eastern passage, two pale, butt-naked humans get up from a squat and eye Clorinda quizzically. Grabbing their bones (bone tools/weapons, that is), they stomp their feet on the ground and make (literal) caveman noises. Clorinda goes "Aieee!" and runs towards the pillar, scared. One of the cavemen takes after her, the two circling around the pillar Looney Tunes-style. The other one runs towards the eastern passage, hooting and hollering. What a mess. Despite Marco's insistence on leaving her to fend for herself, Bahat Ghul rescues her with an arrow placed upon the cannibal's thigh (are they cannibals? Maybe I'm just stereotyping).

C3: Ten pale, naked men about to spit-roast a priestess. Over a fire, that is. They're cannibals. One of them, wrinkly-old and in need of dentistry, holds up a gnarled stick, chanting. Yeah, not today; Krang Sleeps the lot of them. And we slit all of their throats, as one does. Bouncemonia loots the gnarled stick, recognizing it as a magical wand. The captive priestess is untied and sent home. Hm... the caveman that ran in here from C2 isn't among the corpses... 

Flippin' Dragon

Oh, there he comes, from the north, shouting while leading toward us a giant amphibian creature with a big sac on its throat and a flat tail the size of a windsail. The frog-thing licks up the caveman and swallows him whole, and soon it will be our turn. What's our move, gang?

Actually, you can just read NBateman's own description of this boss fight on his own blog here ("Sleep Dragon" section). What's the point, then, of me doing the same? Well, he simplified and omitted certain irrelevant details regarding the fight itself, probably because the blog post is about the boss design and not the fight per se, and also because it would be a tedious chore to do so. But I'm all about irrelevant details and tedious chores, and I'm concerned with the fight per se, so here I go. Do read the boss description, though; I think it'll make it easier to understand the round-by-round recap.

Cellar comes up with an excellent plan: we'll leave Bahat and Bouncemonia back in C2, while the rest of the party lures the dragon to the bridge. The advantage is obvious: keeping the dragon on the bridge will restrict its movement; it won't be able to breathe on the whole party at once, and as a bonus, we'll drop a stalactite on it.

The dragon ain't so stupid, though. Eyeing the loose stalactites with bulging, yellow frog-eyes, it uses its sticky amphibian feet to crawl under the bridge rather than over. Can Kimimi use Vitalize on the bridge? That's stretching the description of the Vitalize spell a bit too much. But the Referee is lenient (and rewarding of creativity): with a magic save (15% chance), Kimimi will make a breakthrough in the magical arts, turning the bridge into a giant inchworm. If not, she'll be able to give the bridge a single simple command, provided that the bridge stays connected on both sides. Out comes the likely outcome: the magic save fails, but Kimimi's command is almost as good: "Rotate". The bridge twists in the middle, turning the dragon the right side up again. The dragon is like, "WTF". Bahat Ghul drops the stalactites with a skilfully shot arrow. 9 damage, not bad. First blood is drawn.

What now? I guess we just start hitting it, lol. The melee peeps make their attacks, and Krang fires off a maleficence with his remaining spell slot (which is just a magic missile, boring!!). Krang deals 6, and Gronk hits for 4. Total damage for our turn: 19. Not bad.

The dragon is kinda dazed n' confuzed, both from being flipped around and a stalactite falling on its back. I believe this gave us a lil' attack bonus. The frogge's  gas sack is inflating. When combat proper starts, it's gonna put us to sleep. First literally, then figuratively.

Round 1

Turn 1: Jenx comes in clutch with the initiative roll. We can still do something to prevent a visitation from the sandman. Everybody at the front, attacc the sacc! It is ruled that the dragon gets a save against getting its sac punctured. If it fails, it still releases some gas but loses the breath attack from then on. If it succeeds, no damage is dealt (the sac is bouncy, you see). Well it does save. Against Kimimi's maleficence. Everybody else misses, terrible rolls all around. TPK imminent. At the back, Bahat also misses. But at least Bouncemonia gets to do her "Kiss of Death" on the dragon's... rear: 7 damage (3d6). At least it's something. Clorinda retreats to the back, to avoid the inevitable.

Turn 2: The dragon breathes. Let the bodies hit the floor: Marco, Dhunprick and Gronk fail their saves and fall asleep. Krang and Clorinda are unaffected, as they're further south. It is at this point that we realize we forgot to take our weki-weki leaves. Whoops.

Round 2

Turn 1: Jenx rolls a 6 on initiative again. GOAT. Bahat deals 4 more damage with a bow, and Bouncemonia goes in for the melee dagger stab: 1 damage 🔥🔥🔥. Krang runs up to Gronk and shoves some weki-weki leaves in his mouth, slaps him on the face a bunch, trying to wake him up. Cue "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd. Gronk fails a death save for waking up: eyes open, but still delirious and useless. Clorinda climbs up some stalactites with a grappling hook and lands on top of the dragon. 

Turn 2: The dragon, feeling an itchy sensation of 1 damage on its ass, flaps its fan-like tail. Bouncemonia fails a breath save, is blown off the bridge, and swept away by the rapids beneath. RIP. We'll never get to know what that wand did. With the party at the back resolved, it's time for business in the front: The dragon moseys over to Krang, the only viable target, stepping on Dhunprick on the way. 6 damage to Dhunprick, crushing his ribs and leaving him at 1. But at least this sorta wakes him up; pain is a great stimulant. Krang is swallowed whole. The Big Boys at this point are chanting "TPK! TPK! TPK!" 

Round 3

Turn 1: The dragon wins initiative this time. We're so fucked. Gronk is the only somewhat viable target ahead; the dragon grabs him with its teeth, flails him around like a ragdoll, and tosses him across the room. 3 damage on a 2d6, not too bad. At least he's jostled awake now. It'll also try to shake Clorinda off its back, but she passes her save. 

Turn 2: Clorinda misses. How do you miss while literally standing on the thing you're trying to hit? The world might never know. But the Slipper, the Slipper saves us all. Laying underneath the dragon, his sword attack counts as a backstab for double damage. He hits and does MAXIMUM DAMAGE! Six on a d6, multiplied by two. The dragon is dead, its belly split open. 

Krang is cut out of the dragon's stomach, sliding out all slimy and gross. He's clearly in shock because the first thing he asks is if anyone can lend him dry clothes, forgetting that he doesn't actually wear clothes and has been naked the whole time. Oh, and after a shower of frog-dragon guts and viscera, Dhunprick's grease returns to normal operational levels. In the dragon's lair, we find a hoard of silver and some stone statuettes. As well as 8000 Caveman Coins, made of stone and worth 1cp each. Thanks. Clorinda takes her share and leaves with a stinging tease: "I thought Gronk was the Biggest Boy, but I guess the Dhunprick Slipper is the real hero." 

XP, Treasure

Monster	XP
Standoff with the liberators	1000
Five 2HD robo-lizardmen	1000
Eleven 1HD Cave Cannibals	1100
Frog Dragon, 8HD, x2 for special ability	1600
Total	4700 XP

Treasure	Amount
Dragon's hoard	2000sp
Stone statuettes x 30	300sp
Caveman Coins, made of stone x8000 1cp each	40sp (we only take 400 because they're heavy lol)
Wind Temple Reward	500sp
Total	3600sp

+ 100 XP to everyone for the death of 1st level character, totaling in 1285 for each. Dhunprick, Kimimi and Marco level up.

The Wind Temple will teach our Magic Users the spell of True Breath: breathing without inhaling. This will render us immune to the Devil Tree's spore clouds.

Downtime activities

In the afterglow of a great session, we discuss what downtime activities we could do while staying at the wind temple. Not much to do there. Except for Kimimi, who has a quest to learn new meditation techniques at the Wind Temple, as part of her knighthood training with Ser Barral. The Slipper's recovering from his wounds.

That's when we remember the Boneworker at Zaxon. We've gotta skin the dragon and bring its bones to Zaxon somehow, and get decked out in magical bone weapons and armor. Not only that, we'll look awesome rolling up at Zaxon with a pile of dragon bones; maybe it'll fix our reputation. Zaxonians love bones. But how will we drag an entire dragon skeleton all the way down there? Going through the Dark Woods is just asking to get robbed. The north of the map is a swampy forest, even worse. But Bahat Ghul has an idea: we're gonna build a boat and float it down the river, Willy Wonka style. The fighters get to task building the boat, with the help of the Wind Temple's... workers.

So, stay tuned for the deadly boat adventure and the battle against the ancient horror of the Blue Ruins, The Devil Tree Zaqqum, in the next episode of... Devil's World Heroes!