Devil's World Heroes Session 1: Welcome to The Wylderwoods

"1000 years ago, the Four Sages sealed Lucifer at the conclusion of the Final War. The secrets of ancient humans still lay dormant, ready to be found by brave adventurers. Humans clash in endless warfare as the forces of Chaos prepare for the reincarnation of their great leader. What is your destiny, World Hero?" ― NBateman

After the conclusion of NBateman's Wolves Upon the Coast campaign*, he has decided to return to a more pulpy & heroic style of adventure, thus beginning Devil's World Heroes. The first session of which I have chronicled here, to the best of my recollection. The game is run in NBateman's own hack of OD&D, as is customary around these parts.

* You can read a few session reports from this campaign at the Gorgon Head, as chronicled by Jenx.

The Party

In NBateman's games, player characters are rolled during the first session, together as a group. It's a practice I quite enjoy, as I believe that being witness to a character's creation, with all the banter that it is usually accompanied by, helps players become familiar with and invest in each other's characters right away. And we ended up with quite some colourful characters indeed.

With that said, meet our World Heroes:

Kimimi the Witch (Havoc)
Magic-User
9 Str, 13 Int, 17 Wis, 13 Dex, 9 Con, 6 Cha
A man-eating she-monster with a husky voice and a pointy hat.

Dwelf Lundgren (ags)
Fighter
13 Str, 11 Int, 18 Wis, 9 Dex, 11 Con, 9 Cha
It's a dwarf. It's an elf. It's Dwelf Lundgren! Dreams to see the ocean, build a castle beside it (or upon it).

Dunarson Sundarsonson (mtb)
Thief
7 Str, 9 Int, 13 Wis, 12 Dex, 9 Con, 6 Cha
Son of Sunardonson.

Gronk Boblin (cellar gelatin)
Fighter
12 Str, 5 Int, 8 Wis, 11 Dex, 13 Con, 12 Cha
Lost his comfortable tent and big stick while camping too close to a waterfall. How very sad.

Thorgo (Jenx)
Fighter
16 Str, 6 Int, 13 Wis, 10 Dex, 13 Con, 9 Cha
Have I met this guy before? He looks familiar.

Dhunprick Slipper (Mr. Mann)
Thief
9 Str, 10 Int, 8 Wis, 17 Dex, 8 Con, 14 Cha
For Slipper, there's no such thing as a "sticky situation". Because he is perpetually covered in grease.

Krangclutter zul Shitlingtzim (Kirko)
Magic-User
9 Str, 11 Int, 14 Wis, 10 Dex, 14 Con, 13 Cha
Imagine no possessions. This guy doesn't have to, for he ain't got none. Yes, including clothes. At first one might mistake him for a druid, but no, he just smells like one.

Bahat Ghul (Me)
Fighter
16 Str, 11 Int, 9 Wis, 16 Dex, 10 Con, 9 Cha
Hails from the barbaric wastelands that hopefully exist in this setting. Despite sounding fearsome to foreign ears, in his native tongue his name means "Happy Flower".

We name our merry band The Big Boys.

The Adventure Begins - Zaxon City

"You have travelled together to the Wylderwoods, chasing rumours of great treasures in the Northern Palace. Go! Gain experience by killing monsters and finding treasure!" ― NBateman

The Big Boys materialize near the city of Zaxon, at the southernmost edge of the hex flower. Zaxon City is a curious sight — most of its buildings seem to be partially made from the bones of local monsters, towering in great stacks as if heaped together rather than built. The skies resound with the cries of Pteradons [sic]. The gigantic skull of an ancient titan rests upon the city, now repurposed to serve as its fortress. There, Prince Wynsel resides with his retinue.

As is the proper manner of conduct when entering held lands, we went to see Prince Wynsel and give him our greetings. He received us in his great hall, the walls of which were adorned from floor to ceiling with armaments of all kinds. In the midst of the hall a feast was being held, with a host of strong men of good cheer raising horns full of mead to the health of their liege. In short, the function was bumping, verily.

I will not bore you with the full details of our encounter with Prince Wynsel, or the subsequent rumour gathering and shopping spree. Instead, I shall impart upon you a quick rundown:

• Prince Wynsel leavies a tax on the earnings of all adventurers — 20% of the monetary value of all treasure sold. Proposals of immediate regicide were voiced among the party but ultimately rejected, for the strong men of good cheer outnumber us greatly.
• The prince's domain is rife with other adventuring parties, for word has spread far and wide of countless treasures and mighty artifacts that lay undisturb't amongs't & betwix't the ruins of greate civilizations that ruled these lands in ages past. No doubt part of Wynsel's scheme to fill his coffers off the backs of honest, hard-working grave-robbers.
• To get to the nearest dungeon, we must go east, cross the river, pass through the Dark Woods, and follow the river's path to the north.
• One Ser Barral and his men have been extracting a toll from all who pass through the bridge east of Zaxon. This is not sanctioned by the prince, and he assures us that if confronted with such, we need but to invoke his name, and passage will be granted untolled.
• McCullen at Zaxon city, a "boneworker", can allegedly "work bone". No, he's not a barber; what he does is he can transform bones into weapons. Disappointing. Not to be rude, but some people in this party are long due a haircut 💅.

The Trek to The Dungeon

Dismayed by Sir Wynsel's economic policies but nonetheless eager for adventure, The Big Boys set trudge to the dungeon north-east.

We make our way across the bridge without incident. Perhaps Ser Barral is clever enough to only collect his toll closer to the end of the day, when adventurers are returning to the city, likely tired, wounded, and carrying treasure.

Would you believe me if I told you that The Dark Woods live up to their name? They always do. Passing through the forest, we hear chitter-chatter coming from the dense walls of green that surround us on all sides. Eyes glimmer in the darkness above, gazes following our every step. We hail them loudly, bidding the cowards to show themselves. After a pause, down from the canopy leap out five little monkey fellas armed with knives and spears. They address us thusly:
— "Obu âs lam, osnuk and ödong!"
What? Unfortunately, nobody in the party happened to share a language with the little fellows. A few unsuccessful attempts at communication later, Dwelf Lundgren exclaims, "Hey, I think I know what those guys are! They are the local equivalent of goblins." He then proceeds to impale one of our interlocutors with his spear. Well then. 

The fight was over quickly, some of us didn't even get to take a swing. Dwelf later explained that he has adventured in this world before, and knows how to deal with the goblins. I'll take his word for it, but I am still conflicted. Can't we all just get along?

Proceeding north, the forest thins out, revealing a cobalt-blue speck on the wide horizon of the open plains. That must be our dungeon. With promise of treasure now in direct sight, we quicken our march, soon arriving without further incident at...

The Blue Stone Ruins

There's not much to the surface of the blue ruins; all the excitement lay beneath, in the treacherous mazes of death and stone, known to us in the biz as "dungeons." We descend, finding ourselves facing north in a 50' by 60' room; there's a cave-in blocking the exit to the north; a closed door to the west, and an open passage to the east. The walls are covered in carvings depicting demonic faces.

What we'd like to do is, survey our equipment, assign Party Roles, and establish a Marching Order.

Equipment & Spells

Notable equipment:
Two firebombs we bought at Zaxon.
The Greatsword of Rhus (+1) — a weapon from another world, wielded by Thorgo.
Prepared spells:
Kimimi: Shield, Light, Magic Missile.
Krangclutter: Read Languages, Sleep, Magic Missile, and a Scroll of Sleep.

Party Roles

In a large-ish group such as ours, it is important to have the players take on the duties of managing the table. It speeds up play massively, prevents incidents of game-stopping confusion ("Who has the key???"), and reduces the workload of the Referee, allowing them to focus on the direct task of conducting the game.
cellar gelatin is our Caller, Mr. Mann is on mapping duties, Havoc acts as Quartermaster, and Jenx keeps track of kills & XP. I took it upon myself to record Session Notes.

Marching Order, Door Procedures

Another useful technique is the practice of preemptively establishing the player characters' positions relative to each other, and the sequence of common dungeon interactions (chief among them, the interactions with doors). This saves a lot of time that would otherwise be wasted on establishing these facts at every junction of the dungeon map ("Who is standing where?", "Can I shoot from here?", "Let's stop and plan how we're going to breach a door for the n-th time," etc.).

Marching Order:

Door Procedures:

1. Dhunprick picks door or Thorgo kicks down door.
2. Melee combatants stand at either side.
3. Ranged combatants and Magic-Users stand back, ready to shoot.

Of course, in real play things don't always run like clockwork, people aren't robots, the game is often chaotic, players mishear things, get confused. But it's helpful to have a baseline everyone can fall back on.

On to The Dungeon Crawl

After a quick Team Huddle, The Big Boys begin their exploration of the Blue Stone Ruins.

B2
Nothing but broken pottery.

B3
Dhunprick checks for traps, using his patented method of rolling around on the floor on the transverse axis (also known as a "Sideways Roll"). Traps are seldom aimed below waist-high, after all. A blade comes swinging from the wall to the east (at around waist-high). Meanwhile, three animated skeletons, overgrown with vegetation, shamble into our torchlight from the darkness ahead. We let the trap re-arm, and simply stand back. Click. All three are bisected. Oldest trick in the book.

B4
Bickering voices echo off the cold stone (approximately d6 of them); something about a stuck door. Classic adventurer moment. An encounter with another party is often a roll of the dice — an unscrupulous sort, we are. Confident in their numbers, The Big Boys opt to simply say "Hello". After the requisite drawing of weapons and exchanges of "Halt, who goes there?" and "Identify yourselves!" (traditional adventurer greetings), we make acquaintances with Pandra the sorceress, and her three oafish companions — The Ghoun Brothers. The subject of their squabble is an unbudging stone door, with a glowing panel on the wall next to it. Displayed on the panel is the letter "B", in uppercase. The Big Boys have no patience for the inscrutable workings of ancient technology. Thorgo and I, the strongest among The Big Boys, crowbar the door open with brute force. The Ghoun Brothers elbow us out of the way, pouring into the newly open room with piggish abandon. Didn't even check for traps, the amateurs.

B5
No explosions or anguished screams follow, so we enter as well, Pandra apologizing on behalf of her oafs. Floor hatch in the middle of the room, on the southern wall a panel with four glowing buttons, Green, Yellow, Red, and Blue. Bah! No treasure, and yet more technology. The panel rebukes us with a loud buzz on every 4th press of a button. The Ghoun Brothers and Pandra leave, disappointed. We stay and fiddle with the panel some more, with no success. Adventurers don't take combinatorics classes, otherwise they'd know that this panel can be brute-forced in 128 attempts on average. Being adventurers ourselves, we haven't either. So, we leave.

B6
At last, we find some treasure. A hole in the wall holds some magical scrolls and a statue of a lady with many breasts on her chest and as many eyes on her face. As well as some loose change. The hole also had a nest of venomous spiders in it, which Gronk disturbed when he carelessly shoved his hand inside. Fortunately, he made the save. We recognize the statue as being of Satanic origin. Better bring it back to town for further investigation. As for the scrolls, they are identified as a Scroll of Darkness and a Scroll of Expose (+2 AC).

B7
Thorgo used x-in-6 open doors! It's super effective! Inside, a small wooden chest. But! The moment the front half of the party steps past the doorway, a giant Black Widow Spider squats down from the ceiling, aiming its baleful fangs in our general direction. Thorgo lurches towards the treasure chest, but gets caught in the foul creature's sticky webs. With repeated applications of sharp steel directly to the forehead, the spider's soul is sent scurrying to spider heaven.  After some untangling of webs, we retrieve 55 crystalline coins from the aforementioned small wooden container. Currency of the ancients who once called these azure halls their home, we surmise.

More voices in the corridors, but not of Pandra and pals. Much to The Big Boys' chagrin, Prince Wynsel's PR campaign is proving itself as effective as the rumours had claimed. Well, The Big Boys have had enough pleasantries for one delve. What is this, a role-playing game? We let the voices fade further into the depths.

Probably pointless prattle prevented, the party proceeds promptly past previously probed passageways, prospecting for potential precious possessions to pocket and pawn-off for plentiful revenue.

B6
Sticky, greasy slime seeps through the gap beneath the door. Dhunprick Slipper, the resident Grease Expert gives his professional opinion: "I know this slime well... It is the type of slime I cannot identify!" Excellent. With expertise falling flat, brute force once again takes center stage. Let's give this door the good ol' x-in-six, as I like to call it.

For the first time in his (admittedly quite short so far) life, a dungeon door does not fall prone before Thorgo's mighty foot. Perhaps we should have taken that as a sign from the Gods that our luck had ran out, that we'd be better-off not tempting fate. For a note of tragedy now mars the sheet music of our souls [Ed. Note: What does this even mean?].

The door yields on attempt numero dos, but as soon as Thorgo pokes his head through, it is swallowed down to the neck by a repulsive Grease Worm. Kimimi points a finger-gun and shoots a Magic Missile at the loathsome beast, causing no apparent harm. That's Magic Missile for you. "Mf mnh mff hmf fnf! Fnh hmn nhmnfs!" [TN: "There is no saving me! Deploy the firebombs!"] — cries Thorgo. Oh thank God, we won't actually have to fight the thing. We were all kinda feeling obligated to rescue our friend, but since he's so graciously given us the go-ahead, we'll gladly take the firebomb option. With the battle-cry of "Fuck magic!", Kimimi throws the first firebomb, followed immediately by Dwelf. Before we can even shut the door, the room bellows eyebrow-singing fire right into our faces.

Inside, a burrow in the wall, containing a handful of Grease Worm Eggs, some Flammable Grease Worm Grease that we scoop up, and Thorgo's disembodied spirit, who bids us to "Take the ChaaAAaain! Shit's expensive! Take the Greatsword of Rhus!", before ascending to Valhalla. A practical man he was, to the end.

The Haul

We'd collect Thorgo's remains for burial, if there were any.  Some distance away from the entrance to The Blue Ruins, The Big Boys find an alcove in a nearby cliff, where they count up their treasure and XP:

Total XP: 2540; 317.5 per PC.

The Way Back

Before we can finish daydreaming about the plunder-fueled debaucheries soon to be had, sounds of commotion interrupt our reveries.

Dwelf sneaks ahead, becoming witness to a harrowing scene: Pandra and one of the Ghoun brothers, pursued by a tall dwarf and an archer we dubbed Robin Blackhood ( Coz he was dressed like Robin Hood, you see, but in cloth of black instead of green). The last of the Ghoun Brothers falls, a jet-black arrow buried in his back. Pandra, desperate for her life, jumps into the river (you know, the one on the hex map. Distances get hazy in TTRPGs sometimes). This was the last we ever saw of her. Dwelf returns to the party and recounts the event. The Big Boys swear to put the villains to justice, but sometime later. For now, we add them to our shit-list.

The party heads back, passing through the Dark Woods once again. Dwelf acts as scout, walking far in front of the party. To the lamentations of "Oh God, what now", an encounter die lands on a 1. "Help! Help!" — cries a woman, grabbing Dwelf by his cape, grasping at his boots when he tries to trudge past. Dwelf kicks her away. We're kinda done at this point. "Some hero you are", she remarks drily, dusting herself off, and sticks a dart in Dwelf's neck. A black curtain falls before his eyes.

To be continued...

Final Remarks

This was my first experience with both blogging and writing a session report. Having no frame of reference, I have, probably, over-committed on the amount of detail I ended up including, and slightly underestimated the amount of effort. In various parts this is because of my own inexperience and proclivity for generating word salad, my attempt to convey some of the banter and jokes we had at the table, and the fact that the first session is naturally front-loaded with context that pertains to the whole campaign. Also bears mentioning NBateman's fast-paced style of refereeing. A lot of stuff happens in a single session of his games. Finally, I wanted to try out the whole feature-set of the static site generator software I'm using to write this blog, since I'm planning to write a tutorial for it (as mentioned in the previous post). Oh, and I also got sidetracked making photo montages for the Skull Fortress and the Blue Ruins. I didn't have to do that.

Nonetheless, I had fun writing this, learned some new skills, and I'm sure I'll get better at it as I go along. Furthermore, if someone, for some reason, finds themselves in need of a semi-detailed account of an OSR-style game played online with an above average number of participants, this session report might be of some value to them.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll visit again to read Devil's World Heroes — Session 2.

Errata

I have been informed that the Greatsword of Rhus is not, in fact, a +1 sword. It's just a plain old greatsword. But its sentimental value is worth more to us than any stat bonus. Ok, maybe not more than a +2 bonus, but still.